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hey dw.
Lets see. I have a bit to write about.
Thanksgiving was fine. We went to Kirt and Justin's. Z's aunts and uncles were there. And his other cousin and his partner and kid. It was hard to keep the aunts and uncles straight tbh. But the food was good and we watched football and really I guess that's all I hope for with these things. Still, I have more fun when holidays are with my friends.
Friday, Z was at the brewery all day. I don't think I did much. I sat around and finished watching My Hero Academia, and worked out. Later that evening, Kirt and Justin along with the rest of the relatives went out to see Z at the brewery so I tagged along too. It wasn't much, but that was okay. Family is exhausting. I hadn't done a "family" thing in... gods... forever. I forgot how draining it can be.
Saturday there was a punk show. It was a good show. The mod of the cat punks group i'm in was there and i got some cat punks swag. But then it got weird.
Fucking J, you know, the asshole that groped me a couple entries ago and got fired from the brewery was there. and Man, i was just really fking mad. He used to be so cool but, okay this is dumb, but I'm mad he unfriended me on instagram. him and his partner! like his fucking gf unfriended me, but HE GROPED ME. I wonder what he told her. I'm not mad for her... she probably was told a lie... or a bunch of lies... but i'm mad!
At some point during the show i was sitting at a chair and J told me my phone fell out of my pocket. i was grateful. but mad. why does he get to grope me but still be nice to me? its fucked up. fuck him!! THEN after getting all flustered, i tried to THANK HIM and he fucking WALKED AWAY.
I'm just mad!! its not fair! none of this is fair. and somehow he comes out of this unscathed. i guess i could tell everyone hes a fucking creeper but i also want no drama. i want it to go away. i have told mutuals, but i don't want to just tell strangers.
gods, its not a punk show unless one of my abusers is there, eh?
But yeah, it was a fun show. the last band, the cat punks band, the apparently have been a band like 20 years? i didnt know that. some of their stuff was, uh, lyrically lame. but not exactly offensive. so, *shrug* i guess.
Sunday Z and I went out for a short hike. It wasn't much, but it was really nice to get outside. We both decided we really needed to get outside more. The leaves are turning like crazy this year. In Texas, we're not exactly known for fall colors, but it is just stunning this year. Afterwards we got sushi and watched football and drank pumpkinators with Mike and J. Turns out those 4 beers got me good and fucked. we went grocery shopping and i was still pretty drunk lol.
I woke up early monday hung over lol. oh well. I didn't do much.
In Tuesday silks I did good. Which made me question just canning 3... but then the teacher said she might move the class to Wednesday which would kill it for me anyway. lol. whatever. Like, it wouldn't be bad if I got a car... But I don't really want a second car just to go to the gym.
My mood has been better. Uh, even tho there was thanksgiving, I'm sort of back on the exercise wagon. And I think moving my body has helped a little. I'm hoping my jeans fit better again soon. I also started back on other little rituals that make me feel better, like taking care of my skin at night. I think maybe my mood was bad because of the decrease in structure? It also got better by going outside a bit. That said, I'm still easy to cry, but I thiiiink that's normal, so I'm not gonna worry about it. My self-talk has gotten infinitely better which is good.
I got a new work computer and its been a total pain setting it up, but its finally, completely set up, more or less. Just small stuff left, and then I'll keep the old laptop around for, idk, a few days or so to make sure there's nothing I need. Then I'll be set. huzzah.
Well, that's mostly it. I'll talk to ya next week, dw.
Lets see. I have a bit to write about.
Thanksgiving was fine. We went to Kirt and Justin's. Z's aunts and uncles were there. And his other cousin and his partner and kid. It was hard to keep the aunts and uncles straight tbh. But the food was good and we watched football and really I guess that's all I hope for with these things. Still, I have more fun when holidays are with my friends.
Friday, Z was at the brewery all day. I don't think I did much. I sat around and finished watching My Hero Academia, and worked out. Later that evening, Kirt and Justin along with the rest of the relatives went out to see Z at the brewery so I tagged along too. It wasn't much, but that was okay. Family is exhausting. I hadn't done a "family" thing in... gods... forever. I forgot how draining it can be.
Saturday there was a punk show. It was a good show. The mod of the cat punks group i'm in was there and i got some cat punks swag. But then it got weird.
Fucking J, you know, the asshole that groped me a couple entries ago and got fired from the brewery was there. and Man, i was just really fking mad. He used to be so cool but, okay this is dumb, but I'm mad he unfriended me on instagram. him and his partner! like his fucking gf unfriended me, but HE GROPED ME. I wonder what he told her. I'm not mad for her... she probably was told a lie... or a bunch of lies... but i'm mad!
At some point during the show i was sitting at a chair and J told me my phone fell out of my pocket. i was grateful. but mad. why does he get to grope me but still be nice to me? its fucked up. fuck him!! THEN after getting all flustered, i tried to THANK HIM and he fucking WALKED AWAY.
I'm just mad!! its not fair! none of this is fair. and somehow he comes out of this unscathed. i guess i could tell everyone hes a fucking creeper but i also want no drama. i want it to go away. i have told mutuals, but i don't want to just tell strangers.
gods, its not a punk show unless one of my abusers is there, eh?
But yeah, it was a fun show. the last band, the cat punks band, the apparently have been a band like 20 years? i didnt know that. some of their stuff was, uh, lyrically lame. but not exactly offensive. so, *shrug* i guess.
Sunday Z and I went out for a short hike. It wasn't much, but it was really nice to get outside. We both decided we really needed to get outside more. The leaves are turning like crazy this year. In Texas, we're not exactly known for fall colors, but it is just stunning this year. Afterwards we got sushi and watched football and drank pumpkinators with Mike and J. Turns out those 4 beers got me good and fucked. we went grocery shopping and i was still pretty drunk lol.
I woke up early monday hung over lol. oh well. I didn't do much.
In Tuesday silks I did good. Which made me question just canning 3... but then the teacher said she might move the class to Wednesday which would kill it for me anyway. lol. whatever. Like, it wouldn't be bad if I got a car... But I don't really want a second car just to go to the gym.
My mood has been better. Uh, even tho there was thanksgiving, I'm sort of back on the exercise wagon. And I think moving my body has helped a little. I'm hoping my jeans fit better again soon. I also started back on other little rituals that make me feel better, like taking care of my skin at night. I think maybe my mood was bad because of the decrease in structure? It also got better by going outside a bit. That said, I'm still easy to cry, but I thiiiink that's normal, so I'm not gonna worry about it. My self-talk has gotten infinitely better which is good.
I got a new work computer and its been a total pain setting it up, but its finally, completely set up, more or less. Just small stuff left, and then I'll keep the old laptop around for, idk, a few days or so to make sure there's nothing I need. Then I'll be set. huzzah.
Well, that's mostly it. I'll talk to ya next week, dw.
