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Nov. 21st, 2018 07:04 pmHey DW.
Its been a relatively uneventful week. I dyed my hair green Friday. Friday I also saw the Skatalites. I got really drunk because people kept bringing me free beers. I had a great time. I woke up Saturday so hung over that I didn't go to silks.
Saturday I didn't do much. Z worked and I stayed to hang out. Willie popped by! I hadn't seen him in, probably years now. It was nice to catch up. Some drunk middle age dude kept talking to us about Trump and it was really fucking annoying. Legit old dude was like "now i hate to have to ask you this... but what do you think" and i literally wanted to say "actually you dont have to ask that at all" but instead I just walked away after saying there isn't a single president ive ever liked.
Uh after that we went to Tin's to watch the NXT ppv which was pretty good.
Sunday we watched football and baked some sweet potatoes for a friendsgiving. I sort of underestimated how long sweet potatoes would take. Oops. Once they were done we then headed to Tins again for the wwe ppv and friendsgiving. The food was great and the ppv was okay.
Sunday I also realised i was somehow weighed over 145lbs and literally none of my jeans are fitting. So I gotta get back into DDRing and stuff.
Tuesday I went to silks 3 and it was a sub and man i shoudnt be there. and i had to just. ive got to stop going. theres no other later week day silks classes i can go to. this class slot was literally at my request. but its now too advanced and everyone is so strong and im not strong enough yet. its discouraging. Im just mad I'm not strong enough.
I bought a jacket the other day and surprisingly the one place it didnt fit was my arms and shoulders. I should take a compliment but im still kinda mad. I sent it back for a bigger size.
But Tuesday really jarred me. I went home pissed off. Laura Kate has been doing this less time than me and shes so much stronger than me. idk. I'm just mad I guess.
But I've been in a funk and pretty sensitive. I've been trying to figure out why it is this way. Like is it because I have less alone time? Is it because I still haven't adjusted to the new schedule (cant be! its been this way for almost 2 months!) Like, what is my issue here. Am I just now hormonally imbalanced and this is the new normal? Do I need therapy/medication? Nothing, ultimately is wrong. Like I have no reason to feel this way. Idk. Z and I were saying maybe its because we haven't done anything fun together in a while. We're talking about maybe doing a weekend trip or just going for a hike or something. I think that would help.
I dunno. It was reassuring at least. Z was sweet to me and cuddled me and i felt much better. I'm just tired of feeling so... unstable and fragile.
I was hoping writing this would help me sort out why I've been this way. But no dice. I do think a little vacation would help though. maybe some exercise too. i do think this long weekend will help.
Its been a relatively uneventful week. I dyed my hair green Friday. Friday I also saw the Skatalites. I got really drunk because people kept bringing me free beers. I had a great time. I woke up Saturday so hung over that I didn't go to silks.
Saturday I didn't do much. Z worked and I stayed to hang out. Willie popped by! I hadn't seen him in, probably years now. It was nice to catch up. Some drunk middle age dude kept talking to us about Trump and it was really fucking annoying. Legit old dude was like "now i hate to have to ask you this... but what do you think" and i literally wanted to say "actually you dont have to ask that at all" but instead I just walked away after saying there isn't a single president ive ever liked.
Uh after that we went to Tin's to watch the NXT ppv which was pretty good.
Sunday we watched football and baked some sweet potatoes for a friendsgiving. I sort of underestimated how long sweet potatoes would take. Oops. Once they were done we then headed to Tins again for the wwe ppv and friendsgiving. The food was great and the ppv was okay.
Sunday I also realised i was somehow weighed over 145lbs and literally none of my jeans are fitting. So I gotta get back into DDRing and stuff.
Tuesday I went to silks 3 and it was a sub and man i shoudnt be there. and i had to just. ive got to stop going. theres no other later week day silks classes i can go to. this class slot was literally at my request. but its now too advanced and everyone is so strong and im not strong enough yet. its discouraging. Im just mad I'm not strong enough.
I bought a jacket the other day and surprisingly the one place it didnt fit was my arms and shoulders. I should take a compliment but im still kinda mad. I sent it back for a bigger size.
But Tuesday really jarred me. I went home pissed off. Laura Kate has been doing this less time than me and shes so much stronger than me. idk. I'm just mad I guess.
But I've been in a funk and pretty sensitive. I've been trying to figure out why it is this way. Like is it because I have less alone time? Is it because I still haven't adjusted to the new schedule (cant be! its been this way for almost 2 months!) Like, what is my issue here. Am I just now hormonally imbalanced and this is the new normal? Do I need therapy/medication? Nothing, ultimately is wrong. Like I have no reason to feel this way. Idk. Z and I were saying maybe its because we haven't done anything fun together in a while. We're talking about maybe doing a weekend trip or just going for a hike or something. I think that would help.
I dunno. It was reassuring at least. Z was sweet to me and cuddled me and i felt much better. I'm just tired of feeling so... unstable and fragile.
I was hoping writing this would help me sort out why I've been this way. But no dice. I do think a little vacation would help though. maybe some exercise too. i do think this long weekend will help.
