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Jun. 26th, 2020 04:48 pmyesterday i was just really deep and dark and miserable. Not that I'm not today, but yesterday was worse. I hadn't slept well either and was up at 3am so that might have made things worse.
Im just tired of the pandemic. Things are ramping up again and things are shutting down again. And we;re all hiding again which is good but like, i just want to sit 8 feet away and see my friends. my friends are so integral to my mental health and support structure. im really seeing it now.
but austin is geting scary. my friend cancelled her trip. she was going to come next week. its good and right to do. but man i am so bummed anyway. like i ENCOURAGED her NOT to come. but im still sad!
And im tired of screens. like, ok, ive watched a bunch of stuff. fucking cool. video games are screens, shows, movies, its all fucking screens screens screens. what quarantine activity are yall doing that ISNT screens?
i think i need to start taking walks for my mental health even if i dont want to. i need to exercise a little.
i probably should take up cross stitching or something. maybe i should learn the ukulele. its stupid but its cheap and could be fun and i could just cover songs and stuff. i love to sing but ive never been able to play and sing at the same time. maybe i could try.
my manager is leaving my job. ive been hating my job for a while now but this is like a dagger. its not like i can look for a new one rn. idk. im just sad. i like kevin.
lastly, one of my irl pals but also now online pals, is becoming truscum like. this is becoming a trend lately and i am NOT here for it. There is no bar or threshold you need to cross to become officially trans. if you dont identify as what you are assigned at birth, you are trans. this includes nonbinary people. enbies dont experience the exact same stuff as cistrans folks, but trying to gatekeep or exclude nonbinary people is lame and stupid and hurtful.
fuckin tired, y'all. im real depressed and hoping to feel better eventually.
Im just tired of the pandemic. Things are ramping up again and things are shutting down again. And we;re all hiding again which is good but like, i just want to sit 8 feet away and see my friends. my friends are so integral to my mental health and support structure. im really seeing it now.
but austin is geting scary. my friend cancelled her trip. she was going to come next week. its good and right to do. but man i am so bummed anyway. like i ENCOURAGED her NOT to come. but im still sad!
And im tired of screens. like, ok, ive watched a bunch of stuff. fucking cool. video games are screens, shows, movies, its all fucking screens screens screens. what quarantine activity are yall doing that ISNT screens?
i think i need to start taking walks for my mental health even if i dont want to. i need to exercise a little.
i probably should take up cross stitching or something. maybe i should learn the ukulele. its stupid but its cheap and could be fun and i could just cover songs and stuff. i love to sing but ive never been able to play and sing at the same time. maybe i could try.
my manager is leaving my job. ive been hating my job for a while now but this is like a dagger. its not like i can look for a new one rn. idk. im just sad. i like kevin.
lastly, one of my irl pals but also now online pals, is becoming truscum like. this is becoming a trend lately and i am NOT here for it. There is no bar or threshold you need to cross to become officially trans. if you dont identify as what you are assigned at birth, you are trans. this includes nonbinary people. enbies dont experience the exact same stuff as cistrans folks, but trying to gatekeep or exclude nonbinary people is lame and stupid and hurtful.
fuckin tired, y'all. im real depressed and hoping to feel better eventually.
