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Jul. 24th, 2020 08:00 amI'm doing better than my last entry. Hahaha. I feel like these entries are like clockwork. Next week I'll be depressed, the week after I'll be fine, ad infinitum. Forever and ever amen.
I woke up early. Sleep for me is feast or famine, and its been famine lately. I never write in the mornings. This is my first time, i think. If not, its rare, anyway, even though I have hours of free time to myself. I'm always so sleepy. I've been learning just to accept the tiredness and try to get more out of my early morning me time.
I saw the sun rise this morning and it was super pretty. I'm always so self conscious watching the sun set. Everyone is also awake and i feel like they're watching me? No one was around this morning, except 1 car, some birds, and a possum and it was so pretty and peaceful.
Lets see... whats new. Last weekend I saw Gideon and Sarah. We hung out outside, apart. It was nice. I feel like, these days, when I am about to hang out with someone I suddenly feel like I really don't want to, for whatever reason, but then I go and do it and its good for me and I have fun. We mostly talked about movies and shows we were watching. Normally I feel like those are hard conversations to take part in, but since its all anyone is doing right now, its easy to do.
Skip this paragraph if you don't want to hear weight talk. I've "only" gained 5lbs during quarantine, but I've lost a lot of muscle and i have gotten some flab. I've started doing body weight exercises again. I take a break from work, each hour, to do a quick 3~5 minute exercise. And oh my god, its helped my mood at work *so* **much**. I think this is the first week in a while where I haven't felt like I hated my job. anyway, im trying to coax myself a little to get in shape. if I lose the 5lbs, maybe ill buy myself a new toaster or a pull up bar or something. it isnt the number. the number is just a way to quantify stuff. mostly i just want my clothes to fit me. admittedly, it will probably take 10 lbs to get my clothes fitting me the way I want again. I've been battling the same 10 lbs for a while now. there may come a point where I just buy new clothes instead. But also i want my strength. clearly the rona isnt going away any time soon, and I'd rather not start back at zero if I am ever able to make it back to the gym.
Also I have picked up pokemon go again and we play about an hour each evening. Its a fun/stupid excuse to walk around. Considering I kept being self conscious about where I was walking, I might as well have virtual pokemon tell me where to walk instead. I think getting out of the house has helped some too. If you play pogo, lmk, and we can be pals!
My cousins opened up a gay/queer themed shop to showcase gay/queer/trans/etc artists. its really neat. Jay and I are going to go tomorrow. Last time I was out there they were just setting up shelves. It'll be fun to see. I know they have a print I want to buy. I think I might buy a book I've wanted for a long time too. We'll see.
snowball has been on steroids for the last few weeks. They did help with her coughing, but she also had bad side effects. The vet said that basically confirmed it was asthma, so she'll get a smaller dose of steroids with an inhaler and she'll be peachy keen.
Z had a weird eye infection this week. Monday morning he woke up with his eyes in pain. It reminded me of when my eyes got scratched by my contacts, so I thought it was that. I booked an emergency eye appointment for him. It turned out it was eye ulcers, caused by contacts. He's been on eye drops and the infection has gone down, so now hes also on steroid drops to help the healing. He starting to feel much better.
tonight I did an online birthday thing for Vee. I stayed for about an hour and a half. It was fun. I'm still pretty video-chat-fatigued, but it is nice to do on occasion.
I bought myself a pair of glasses, sort of on a whim. My new everyday glasses are... nice, but I dont love them. Anyway, these are black glitter, which is fun! I like these. As nice and cheap as online glasses are, i still dont think anything beats actually trying on glasses IRL.
The cat groomers came by today. I know. i feel stupid having someone in my home, not for a ME HAIRCUT but for a C A T H A I R C U T. But Blue's hair is out of control. I tried to give him a sanitary shave myself, because otherwise he gets pee and poo on himself. but I failed. So I waited until I just couldnt wait anymore. I had the thought to just have the groomer work outside. That way everyone is safe. But its 100 degrees out. Absolutely no one wants that. If I were the groomer, id rather risk covid for sweet AC than try to wrangle a cat in 100 degree heat while getting bit my mosquitoes. Anyway, he is significantly less fluffy, but he's also very soft and smol. He apparently got an abcess in his armpit from playing with snowball. I felt bad about that but at least it is healed. I'll post a picture to instagram if I can ever get a good picture out of him.
Anyway, thats about it. I think moving around more, accepting things as they are, and working with them has helped my mood some. i think i have time this morning still to wash my hair and maybe even get some pictures of blue. we'll see. later, dw.
I woke up early. Sleep for me is feast or famine, and its been famine lately. I never write in the mornings. This is my first time, i think. If not, its rare, anyway, even though I have hours of free time to myself. I'm always so sleepy. I've been learning just to accept the tiredness and try to get more out of my early morning me time.
I saw the sun rise this morning and it was super pretty. I'm always so self conscious watching the sun set. Everyone is also awake and i feel like they're watching me? No one was around this morning, except 1 car, some birds, and a possum and it was so pretty and peaceful.
Lets see... whats new. Last weekend I saw Gideon and Sarah. We hung out outside, apart. It was nice. I feel like, these days, when I am about to hang out with someone I suddenly feel like I really don't want to, for whatever reason, but then I go and do it and its good for me and I have fun. We mostly talked about movies and shows we were watching. Normally I feel like those are hard conversations to take part in, but since its all anyone is doing right now, its easy to do.
Skip this paragraph if you don't want to hear weight talk. I've "only" gained 5lbs during quarantine, but I've lost a lot of muscle and i have gotten some flab. I've started doing body weight exercises again. I take a break from work, each hour, to do a quick 3~5 minute exercise. And oh my god, its helped my mood at work *so* **much**. I think this is the first week in a while where I haven't felt like I hated my job. anyway, im trying to coax myself a little to get in shape. if I lose the 5lbs, maybe ill buy myself a new toaster or a pull up bar or something. it isnt the number. the number is just a way to quantify stuff. mostly i just want my clothes to fit me. admittedly, it will probably take 10 lbs to get my clothes fitting me the way I want again. I've been battling the same 10 lbs for a while now. there may come a point where I just buy new clothes instead. But also i want my strength. clearly the rona isnt going away any time soon, and I'd rather not start back at zero if I am ever able to make it back to the gym.
Also I have picked up pokemon go again and we play about an hour each evening. Its a fun/stupid excuse to walk around. Considering I kept being self conscious about where I was walking, I might as well have virtual pokemon tell me where to walk instead. I think getting out of the house has helped some too. If you play pogo, lmk, and we can be pals!
My cousins opened up a gay/queer themed shop to showcase gay/queer/trans/etc artists. its really neat. Jay and I are going to go tomorrow. Last time I was out there they were just setting up shelves. It'll be fun to see. I know they have a print I want to buy. I think I might buy a book I've wanted for a long time too. We'll see.
snowball has been on steroids for the last few weeks. They did help with her coughing, but she also had bad side effects. The vet said that basically confirmed it was asthma, so she'll get a smaller dose of steroids with an inhaler and she'll be peachy keen.
Z had a weird eye infection this week. Monday morning he woke up with his eyes in pain. It reminded me of when my eyes got scratched by my contacts, so I thought it was that. I booked an emergency eye appointment for him. It turned out it was eye ulcers, caused by contacts. He's been on eye drops and the infection has gone down, so now hes also on steroid drops to help the healing. He starting to feel much better.
tonight I did an online birthday thing for Vee. I stayed for about an hour and a half. It was fun. I'm still pretty video-chat-fatigued, but it is nice to do on occasion.
I bought myself a pair of glasses, sort of on a whim. My new everyday glasses are... nice, but I dont love them. Anyway, these are black glitter, which is fun! I like these. As nice and cheap as online glasses are, i still dont think anything beats actually trying on glasses IRL.
The cat groomers came by today. I know. i feel stupid having someone in my home, not for a ME HAIRCUT but for a C A T H A I R C U T. But Blue's hair is out of control. I tried to give him a sanitary shave myself, because otherwise he gets pee and poo on himself. but I failed. So I waited until I just couldnt wait anymore. I had the thought to just have the groomer work outside. That way everyone is safe. But its 100 degrees out. Absolutely no one wants that. If I were the groomer, id rather risk covid for sweet AC than try to wrangle a cat in 100 degree heat while getting bit my mosquitoes. Anyway, he is significantly less fluffy, but he's also very soft and smol. He apparently got an abcess in his armpit from playing with snowball. I felt bad about that but at least it is healed. I'll post a picture to instagram if I can ever get a good picture out of him.
Anyway, thats about it. I think moving around more, accepting things as they are, and working with them has helped my mood some. i think i have time this morning still to wash my hair and maybe even get some pictures of blue. we'll see. later, dw.
