![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Nov. 7th, 2020 11:18 amHey, uh, sorry I still can't find my rhythm when it comes to making entries. Ever since the time change, I haven't slept well, but it was hard for me to want to write. I'm absolutely the kind of person that doesn't do anything I don't want to. So things can just pile up.
last weekend we went to seminole canyon, which is near Del Rio, Tx. It is right on the boarder. Seminole canyon has a lot of ancient cave paintings, or pictographs. They are thousands of years old, and the art style is absolutely inspiring. The paintings are of people, or possibly humanoids, or maybe shamans that are elongated. They look like long shadows that are given off of a camp fire. These long shadow people sometimes have horns or wings. It was a guided tour, and I was frustrated that they did not have anyone who is actually an american indian talking about the art. It felt like, here is the ancestor of someone who genocided these people, and now they speculate on what their art meant. If only we had, you know, not killed millions of indians. I'm sure they could have told us more about this amazing art.
After the cave painting tour, we took a long hike along the top of the canyon to see one more cave painting. It is called "panther cove" because there is a long, 8 foot long, painting of a jaguar or panther or something in the cove. This piece of art was really stunning. Just phenomenal. It reminded me of mayan and aztec art because it was detailed and had sharp angles. Everyone speculates about this art, but I bet the artist(s) just thought it looked cool. Because it totally looks cool. We sat on the boarder looking over the rio grande and drinking beers. We saw the confluence of where the canyon river (it is technically a reservoir) met the rio grande, but it was surprisingly small. There were a lot of nutria down there and you could see their tracks. Its sad to think about how one big river really changes lives for folks on which side of it you wind up. Z tends to get especially introspective about it since he is actually Mexican.
After our hike, we found a very old cemetary in the middle of nowhere. some people recommended it to us. At this point, I was pretty sore, so I made a passing look at the graves and then just sat down to rest.
we got some fast food since we did not want to eat indoors because of the virus. We drove home, which is about a 4 hour drive. It was worth the long drive though, because I felt very refreshed after the trip. I was definitely sore because we hiked a total of 9 miles that day. I haven't hiked that much in a very, very long time.
Shane came down last weekend to finish his contract work for the brewery. However, he forgot his painting stain I guess? I was kind of frustrated, because this means he has to come down another week. I'm not frustrated because of Shane himself, per se, i just wish he had checked. The air mattress has been up in the living room for over a month now, and I'd like to take it down someday. The cats like to run around and play, but with the mattress they cannot. This weekend, for real, should be the last weekend I hope. We'll see.
I've continued to watch a lot of football, although I am thoroughly convinced the NFL is not taking the coronavirus seriously anymore. A member of the Packers tested positive on Monday, and they only pulled a few other folks because of "contract tracing" and called that, that. It felt rushed, especially in light of a short week, as we played a Thursday night game. A lot of teams have positive cases come up. And I know its impossible to create a "bubble" like the NBA and NHL did because the teams are effectively much larger. I guess we'll see if the season gets to finish. Until then, football has been a welcome distraction. Its also a great thing to have on while I have been doing cross-stitch.
My job has been stressing me out badly for a while, but this week was the absolute worst. We, for a very long time, have been acquiring more companies, buying software, and then expecting us to provide technical support for all these various things. Its very frustrating, because sometimes theyre built on completely different architectures. For example, for the last 5 years before all this, all I did was troubleshoot mostly Linux servers. Now, we have a software that is built on ASP which is a windows server. Anyway, we acquired another company and fired two people. They said these two people were made redundant. One person was a pregnant woman of color, and I really liked her. We barely have any women in support to begin with. She is a hard worker and I was mad they got rid of her. They kept another person who honestly is a much worse worker. I don't get it. Anyway the new people who will take their place, it will take weeks before they work cases or take phone calls. So we are stuck doing even more work. It is so terrible. I got a linked-in account, thinking of applying to some places. But I haven't yet because a lot of places want you to work in an office even though we have a pandemic. At least with my job, I know i can work from home. Also, they gave me a box of snacks and it was a nice gesture. I don't know. We'll see. I dont know how much more crummy software they can buy and expect us to instantly support.
Between that and the election stress, I was snapping at all my coworkers all day on Wednesday. I didn't mean to. I was just really frazzled. I am still a little frazzled from the election stress. It seems like the state of Nevada forgot how to count. They are a rather small state with only 3 million people. It shouldn't take this long. Oh well. I'm starting to adjust to the constant feeling of dread and panic. But I also feel like I may be on the verge of a breakdown. I keep trying to use all my different coping mechanisms, but sometimes I just can't seem to let up and give myself a break. maybe i should get some teletherapy or something.
My friend Mark was in town last night. He was driving from Nevada back to Chicago, and took the long way around. It was really nice to see him. It felt like I hadn't seen him in years, but actually I had seen him in February. February feels like it was years ago. The coronavirus has really changed my perception of time. It felt weird letting someone I know who is driving across the country stay with me. I know he could have picked up the virus somewhere. But I wanted to see my friend. Hopefully I'll be okay, but I'll try to be cautious this week.
i'm so sorry this entry is getting so long. Just a few more things. I've been really missing Lara lately. Shes a good friend of mine that passed away in February. Halloween was her holiday and it felt like a big fucking bummer to know she wasn't here physically to celebrate it. I think it was linked also to a lot of the nostalgia I was feeling in my last entry. Lara's birthday is coming up and I just really miss her.
I hate daylight savings, and I'm still struggling to adjust to the time change. I wish they would stop doing this. It really makes me feel bad, it demolishes my sleep schedule. I am not a good sleeper to begin with, and it really takes a lot for me to find a rhythm. someday, someone will get rid of the dang time change. I dont care if they keep daylight savings on, or off. I just want the clock change to end.
Thats about it for this week. it was a very busy week and I'm sorry I didn't write sooner. I should have wrote sooner because it would have probably helped my moods and probably would have helped to get my feelings out into words. I'll try to find a better cadence to update so I don't just dump so much all at once. Today we are probably going to Coreys house just to grill and hang out. Tomorrow Shane is in town. And we might meet perry on the patio for some beers. I'll talk to ya later, DW.
last weekend we went to seminole canyon, which is near Del Rio, Tx. It is right on the boarder. Seminole canyon has a lot of ancient cave paintings, or pictographs. They are thousands of years old, and the art style is absolutely inspiring. The paintings are of people, or possibly humanoids, or maybe shamans that are elongated. They look like long shadows that are given off of a camp fire. These long shadow people sometimes have horns or wings. It was a guided tour, and I was frustrated that they did not have anyone who is actually an american indian talking about the art. It felt like, here is the ancestor of someone who genocided these people, and now they speculate on what their art meant. If only we had, you know, not killed millions of indians. I'm sure they could have told us more about this amazing art.
After the cave painting tour, we took a long hike along the top of the canyon to see one more cave painting. It is called "panther cove" because there is a long, 8 foot long, painting of a jaguar or panther or something in the cove. This piece of art was really stunning. Just phenomenal. It reminded me of mayan and aztec art because it was detailed and had sharp angles. Everyone speculates about this art, but I bet the artist(s) just thought it looked cool. Because it totally looks cool. We sat on the boarder looking over the rio grande and drinking beers. We saw the confluence of where the canyon river (it is technically a reservoir) met the rio grande, but it was surprisingly small. There were a lot of nutria down there and you could see their tracks. Its sad to think about how one big river really changes lives for folks on which side of it you wind up. Z tends to get especially introspective about it since he is actually Mexican.
After our hike, we found a very old cemetary in the middle of nowhere. some people recommended it to us. At this point, I was pretty sore, so I made a passing look at the graves and then just sat down to rest.
we got some fast food since we did not want to eat indoors because of the virus. We drove home, which is about a 4 hour drive. It was worth the long drive though, because I felt very refreshed after the trip. I was definitely sore because we hiked a total of 9 miles that day. I haven't hiked that much in a very, very long time.
Shane came down last weekend to finish his contract work for the brewery. However, he forgot his painting stain I guess? I was kind of frustrated, because this means he has to come down another week. I'm not frustrated because of Shane himself, per se, i just wish he had checked. The air mattress has been up in the living room for over a month now, and I'd like to take it down someday. The cats like to run around and play, but with the mattress they cannot. This weekend, for real, should be the last weekend I hope. We'll see.
I've continued to watch a lot of football, although I am thoroughly convinced the NFL is not taking the coronavirus seriously anymore. A member of the Packers tested positive on Monday, and they only pulled a few other folks because of "contract tracing" and called that, that. It felt rushed, especially in light of a short week, as we played a Thursday night game. A lot of teams have positive cases come up. And I know its impossible to create a "bubble" like the NBA and NHL did because the teams are effectively much larger. I guess we'll see if the season gets to finish. Until then, football has been a welcome distraction. Its also a great thing to have on while I have been doing cross-stitch.
My job has been stressing me out badly for a while, but this week was the absolute worst. We, for a very long time, have been acquiring more companies, buying software, and then expecting us to provide technical support for all these various things. Its very frustrating, because sometimes theyre built on completely different architectures. For example, for the last 5 years before all this, all I did was troubleshoot mostly Linux servers. Now, we have a software that is built on ASP which is a windows server. Anyway, we acquired another company and fired two people. They said these two people were made redundant. One person was a pregnant woman of color, and I really liked her. We barely have any women in support to begin with. She is a hard worker and I was mad they got rid of her. They kept another person who honestly is a much worse worker. I don't get it. Anyway the new people who will take their place, it will take weeks before they work cases or take phone calls. So we are stuck doing even more work. It is so terrible. I got a linked-in account, thinking of applying to some places. But I haven't yet because a lot of places want you to work in an office even though we have a pandemic. At least with my job, I know i can work from home. Also, they gave me a box of snacks and it was a nice gesture. I don't know. We'll see. I dont know how much more crummy software they can buy and expect us to instantly support.
Between that and the election stress, I was snapping at all my coworkers all day on Wednesday. I didn't mean to. I was just really frazzled. I am still a little frazzled from the election stress. It seems like the state of Nevada forgot how to count. They are a rather small state with only 3 million people. It shouldn't take this long. Oh well. I'm starting to adjust to the constant feeling of dread and panic. But I also feel like I may be on the verge of a breakdown. I keep trying to use all my different coping mechanisms, but sometimes I just can't seem to let up and give myself a break. maybe i should get some teletherapy or something.
My friend Mark was in town last night. He was driving from Nevada back to Chicago, and took the long way around. It was really nice to see him. It felt like I hadn't seen him in years, but actually I had seen him in February. February feels like it was years ago. The coronavirus has really changed my perception of time. It felt weird letting someone I know who is driving across the country stay with me. I know he could have picked up the virus somewhere. But I wanted to see my friend. Hopefully I'll be okay, but I'll try to be cautious this week.
i'm so sorry this entry is getting so long. Just a few more things. I've been really missing Lara lately. Shes a good friend of mine that passed away in February. Halloween was her holiday and it felt like a big fucking bummer to know she wasn't here physically to celebrate it. I think it was linked also to a lot of the nostalgia I was feeling in my last entry. Lara's birthday is coming up and I just really miss her.
I hate daylight savings, and I'm still struggling to adjust to the time change. I wish they would stop doing this. It really makes me feel bad, it demolishes my sleep schedule. I am not a good sleeper to begin with, and it really takes a lot for me to find a rhythm. someday, someone will get rid of the dang time change. I dont care if they keep daylight savings on, or off. I just want the clock change to end.
Thats about it for this week. it was a very busy week and I'm sorry I didn't write sooner. I should have wrote sooner because it would have probably helped my moods and probably would have helped to get my feelings out into words. I'll try to find a better cadence to update so I don't just dump so much all at once. Today we are probably going to Coreys house just to grill and hang out. Tomorrow Shane is in town. And we might meet perry on the patio for some beers. I'll talk to ya later, DW.
