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Her body is gone. Z got off work around 3 and we left around 330. The person there thought her bed of flowers was just so sweet. She loved orange kitties too. We got a private room where she was in a basket and we got to say our goodbyes. Its been a long letting go process, and I've been comforted by her body still being here, but its still a corpse. I'm just going to miss her so much. her whiskers, her face, her paws, she was just so perfect. We kept giving her pets. i kept giving "one last pet" but the idea that it was the last time I'd ever touch her body was so sad. i kept just having to say bye and walk away. I did give her little forehead a kiss even though thats pretty weird.
We walked out and the person there said she loved what we had done for her, that we had had a wake and everything. She thought it was just so sweet and we talked about how great orange kitties are. We left and I saw her covering her body in the blanket, scooping her up, adn taking her back and I just sobbed and sobbed. I know her spirit is gone, but that body represents her, and I'm just sad that I won't see her body every again like that. I'll never pet her ever again and its so fucking sad.
I'll never have to fight for my food, or get woken up by her yowling for attention. God I just miss her. She was my everything. I miss her so bad.
Sadly, it is the "busy season" (winter is so unkind!) so it'll be about a week till I have her back.
Until then, Skittles food offerings have gone to the possums, and christmas has replaced her altar. Ugh.
the house smells vaguely of death, but id been burning this one candle the whole time and it also reminds me of death so i guess I'm burning a different candle.
I cleaned out my electronics cupboard so idk i got something done on my day off.
I guess now its adjusting to life without her. and then probably breaking down when I get her body back.
Oh and remember the fireflies remark? someone had said skittles was chasing fireflies online in a facebook group im in and it touched me deeply because the idea of her legs working again was just so good and pure. Well, the art print I have of Lil Bub on Luna moths also has her chasing fireflies. Its perfect for her and for Skittles. I need to get it framed.
I just miss and love Skittles so much.
We walked out and the person there said she loved what we had done for her, that we had had a wake and everything. She thought it was just so sweet and we talked about how great orange kitties are. We left and I saw her covering her body in the blanket, scooping her up, adn taking her back and I just sobbed and sobbed. I know her spirit is gone, but that body represents her, and I'm just sad that I won't see her body every again like that. I'll never pet her ever again and its so fucking sad.
I'll never have to fight for my food, or get woken up by her yowling for attention. God I just miss her. She was my everything. I miss her so bad.
Sadly, it is the "busy season" (winter is so unkind!) so it'll be about a week till I have her back.
Until then, Skittles food offerings have gone to the possums, and christmas has replaced her altar. Ugh.
the house smells vaguely of death, but id been burning this one candle the whole time and it also reminds me of death so i guess I'm burning a different candle.
I cleaned out my electronics cupboard so idk i got something done on my day off.
I guess now its adjusting to life without her. and then probably breaking down when I get her body back.
Oh and remember the fireflies remark? someone had said skittles was chasing fireflies online in a facebook group im in and it touched me deeply because the idea of her legs working again was just so good and pure. Well, the art print I have of Lil Bub on Luna moths also has her chasing fireflies. Its perfect for her and for Skittles. I need to get it framed.
I just miss and love Skittles so much.
