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for the first time in a while, ive slept almost okay for two days in a row.
i woke up anxious and beating myself up. but, hey, its sleep. i could have been up all night anxious and beating myself up.
Anyone see The Football Team game last night? I know, I know, I'm in the minority here, but I like sports. But I've been thinking a lot about Alex Smith and how it makes me think about Lara.
Ok, I know this sounds off base. Alex Smith is the quarterback for the Washington Football Team which is a hilarious name but they aren't allowed to have an Incredibly Racist Name anymore which is *really* good. Anyway, he broke his leg in a catastrophic fashion in a game like, a year or so ago. On top of that, he got a flesh eating infection. You can, uh, google pictures. It reminds me of Lara's leg.
Lara also had a leg injury and then flesh eating infection.
Both Alex Smith and Lara were told they could amputate. Both didn't.
Alex Smith is back playing football. Full recovery. No one expected that. its a cool story. Not only is he playing football again, but he is 3-1 right now (in other words, he's winning games). Its totally unexpected.
Lara's leg never really healed. She couldn't walk, couldn't do much. She died. And its really fucking sad.
Sometimes I think its unfair. But /of course/ a world class athlete would heal. And he has the best doctors in the world.
Lara had badgercare probably. And she wasn't healthy even before she got hurt. She had fibro too.
Sometimes, I wish Lara had just amputated. Its selfish of me to think this way. It was always her body. But, maybe if she had amputated that damn leg, she wouldn't have gotten so sick. Maybe she would have gone to all her doctor appointments. maybe she'd still be alive.
Its stupid to look back at this shit. But the more people talk about Alex Smith, the more I think about Lara. I don't know. Its kind of silly. But here I am anyway.
i woke up anxious and beating myself up. but, hey, its sleep. i could have been up all night anxious and beating myself up.
Anyone see The Football Team game last night? I know, I know, I'm in the minority here, but I like sports. But I've been thinking a lot about Alex Smith and how it makes me think about Lara.
Ok, I know this sounds off base. Alex Smith is the quarterback for the Washington Football Team which is a hilarious name but they aren't allowed to have an Incredibly Racist Name anymore which is *really* good. Anyway, he broke his leg in a catastrophic fashion in a game like, a year or so ago. On top of that, he got a flesh eating infection. You can, uh, google pictures. It reminds me of Lara's leg.
Lara also had a leg injury and then flesh eating infection.
Both Alex Smith and Lara were told they could amputate. Both didn't.
Alex Smith is back playing football. Full recovery. No one expected that. its a cool story. Not only is he playing football again, but he is 3-1 right now (in other words, he's winning games). Its totally unexpected.
Lara's leg never really healed. She couldn't walk, couldn't do much. She died. And its really fucking sad.
Sometimes I think its unfair. But /of course/ a world class athlete would heal. And he has the best doctors in the world.
Lara had badgercare probably. And she wasn't healthy even before she got hurt. She had fibro too.
Sometimes, I wish Lara had just amputated. Its selfish of me to think this way. It was always her body. But, maybe if she had amputated that damn leg, she wouldn't have gotten so sick. Maybe she would have gone to all her doctor appointments. maybe she'd still be alive.
Its stupid to look back at this shit. But the more people talk about Alex Smith, the more I think about Lara. I don't know. Its kind of silly. But here I am anyway.
no subject
Date: 2020-12-08 03:49 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2020-12-08 05:25 pm (UTC)From:*hugs*