Poor Pepper. You deserved better.

[frenzy]

Cw: pet death

Pepper passed away sometime today. Mike and Jay, the pet sitters, called to tell me.

I’d been worried about her but I didn’t expect her to really die. I had trusted the vet, and it was so hard to know how she was feeling since all she would do would lay in 1 place for weeks on end. She had a vet appt coming up but I didn’t even think it was a rush. Pepper hated going to the vet so I wanted to do everything in 1 trip for her as opposed to 2 in 1 week.

Hell, mike and jay called last night to say they were worried about her. And I was like yeah the vet knows about all this. she seems bad but mostly it’s hyper thyroid and depression stuff. We’re working on it.

But they were right. I wish I had told them to take her to the emergency vet again. I wish I had trusted all my worries. But it really was so so hard to tell with her.

But I wanted to do better by her. I wanted to heal her broken heart. I wanted her to miss Todd and Andrea but still enjoy her time with me.

I just wish I had done more. I was always so worried about her. And always trying to do my absolute best. I feel terrible she died alone although maybe that’s what she wanted. I’m sure she misses Todd and Andrea and she’s happier to be with them. Still. It’s so sad. And I feel terrible. And I wanted to do more.

And I feel terrible that mike and jay had to deal with her corpse. I’d do the same for them. But it’s so weird and sad and bad. I’m sorry they had to see her dead. No pet sitter should have to see a dead pet. I wish I had been there. I wish I hadn’t left and at least spent her last days with her. I never got to say goodbye to her!

I will be going home in the morning. I just feel so bad. She was a good kitty and she deserved better.

Comments

[sabotabby]

That's so heartbreaking. I'm guessing she went on her own terms, but that's so incredibly painful for everyone. I'm guessing the vet probably couldn't have done anything, fwiw. When they go that fast and it's not something like "they ate a lily," it's probably just adding more trauma to take them to the emergency vet.

But still. Poor Pepper. Poor Mike and Jay. And most of all, poor you.

[frenzy]

Thank you. I hadn’t considered that it might have been something I fixable if it had happened so quickly. But I still just feel so sad and bad. Pepper was a good kitty. I wish I had her longer.

[symbioid]

:( *hugs*

It seems like she was probably already to go regardless. I know that doesn't help, but it's better to not beat yourself up over this. Part of grief, and of course the wider grief of the situation beyond her.

[katiedid717]

I'm sorry Raye, that sucks. At least she's at peace now and doesn't have to be sad anymore

[frandroid]

That's awful. I'm so sorry.