(no subject)

I feel like I may wind up updating more.

Normally, I'm pretty good at accepting whose problems I can and can't help. A lot of my friends are going through rough times. Nearly all the people at my job are having some kind of turmoil. One had open heart surgery, one's mom died, one's old cat died. Sabrina's uncle is dying. and their family is so fucked so they flew out to FL and they're having a rough go of it. I dunno. stuff is rough all over with my internet pals too.

I know fall is always a season of change. My life always changes around fall. Its always good or bad changes.

But I don't know how this one is gonna go.

Z got a call from the doctor after his physical. They think something is wrong with his liver. He goes in tomorrow morning for more blood work.

The obvious joke is 'lol liver issues b4 u work at a brewery'.

But what if the shoe is dropping?

I've been blissful and happy and lucky in love for 5 years, but I've always worried something would snatch it from me.

At this point, I'm worrying about an unknown. I'm trying really hard not to worry about it. Because worrying won't fix it and i don't even know WHAT IT IS.

So that's heavy on me. hopefully its nothing. or, i mean, i'll accept if its just him needing to lose more weight. I just want him to be okay.

You people who've been around long enough know how terrible I am in relationships. i'm a codependent fuck that likes to fix people and without Z i'd be back to my terrible ways. It was pure luck I stumbled into something so good.

gods. whatever. he's fine, i betcha.

keep this under your hats, DW. im not really sharing this with anyone, yet.

whatever. on to the normal update.

The last week was pretty slow. Theresa was in town, but she was doing the travelcon thing, so we didn't hang out a ton. Friday I went out with Z to oddwood. Saturday, Z worked at the brewery and afterwards we just played vidya and sat around reading. Sunday mostly football happened. Monday at least I did get to catch supper with theresa. I met her friend too who apparently is very famous in the mermaid circles. She makes her own tails and tutorials and stuff. She was very nice.

theresa and i had a very sinfield moment when i saw her reading, i shit you not, that jordan peterson book. and like i sat on this for two days eating at me. but she was talking about feminism and shit and i trust her so i finally asked "why tf you readin that" and she was like "idk i love self help books my bf was readin it" and im like linking her to a thousand articles on how he's a piece of crap. well after she crawls out of that wiki-hole, she needs to have a Long Talk with that boyfriend. we laughed about it later, but the whole thing is v absurd.

( cw: r*pe )

i'm worried im getting a cold. theresa was coughing a lot and now im feeling woozy and sluggish. ive been taking nyquil and taking it easy in hopes it goes away quickly. i hope i havent gotten a weaker immune system since i started working from home. idk.

this weekend we might get a table. Z works the brewery again saturday. we dont have any big plans. i'll keep taking it easy.

imma finish doing folding and putting up laundry and lay down. you'll be the first to hear if something goes badly.