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Hey.
I'm...im kind of shitty but hanging in there. Trying to find the balance of feeling it, but not wallowing in it.
Monday, after we dropped her off, I stayed home while Z did some brewing networking. I watched Howl's Moving Castle, which was p good. I just felt p hollow and couldn't focus so it was nice to watch a movie i guess.
I didnt sob yesterday. Which is neat. I cried still but didnt bawl. I still miss Skittles. Today I expected her to be in my chair. She always stole my seat as soon as I get up. I got a condolences card from the vet who put her down. that card made me cry a whole bunch. I just miss her being around and petting her, and her rubbing herself all over the corners of my glasses.
Blue still has been extra sweet. He has slept with us two nights in a row. he sat on my lap once, which he has never done (he only likes to sit on chests).
Still whenever Blue jumps I worry about his joints. I have tiny stairs and I wish he would just take them. I know I'm just projecting. Also, I wish he were more like Skittles? I know this is so stupid. Blue is blue and Skittles was skittles. But I tried getting him to hang out in the box by the computer... no dice. He'll lay on the file box though, so at least he is near.
I went to silks yesterday and it went ok and I feel like i'm getting stronger. everyone has been nice to me.
i've just been trying to get things together and stuff. I have just all these presents i need to wrap. i have a few more i need to get. i need to not sink too low. I need to feel okay. i dont feel okay. maybe i dont need to feel okay.
I just miss her. im glad i have blue here though.
tonight, i was gonna go out but kirt and justin had to cancel as kirt has a funeral to go to. goodness. that sucks. i guess i'll mostly clean tonight. maybe look at my computer build and see what i have.
sorry this entry is all over the place.
I'm...im kind of shitty but hanging in there. Trying to find the balance of feeling it, but not wallowing in it.
Monday, after we dropped her off, I stayed home while Z did some brewing networking. I watched Howl's Moving Castle, which was p good. I just felt p hollow and couldn't focus so it was nice to watch a movie i guess.
I didnt sob yesterday. Which is neat. I cried still but didnt bawl. I still miss Skittles. Today I expected her to be in my chair. She always stole my seat as soon as I get up. I got a condolences card from the vet who put her down. that card made me cry a whole bunch. I just miss her being around and petting her, and her rubbing herself all over the corners of my glasses.
Blue still has been extra sweet. He has slept with us two nights in a row. he sat on my lap once, which he has never done (he only likes to sit on chests).
Still whenever Blue jumps I worry about his joints. I have tiny stairs and I wish he would just take them. I know I'm just projecting. Also, I wish he were more like Skittles? I know this is so stupid. Blue is blue and Skittles was skittles. But I tried getting him to hang out in the box by the computer... no dice. He'll lay on the file box though, so at least he is near.
I went to silks yesterday and it went ok and I feel like i'm getting stronger. everyone has been nice to me.
i've just been trying to get things together and stuff. I have just all these presents i need to wrap. i have a few more i need to get. i need to not sink too low. I need to feel okay. i dont feel okay. maybe i dont need to feel okay.
I just miss her. im glad i have blue here though.
tonight, i was gonna go out but kirt and justin had to cancel as kirt has a funeral to go to. goodness. that sucks. i guess i'll mostly clean tonight. maybe look at my computer build and see what i have.
sorry this entry is all over the place.
no subject
Date: 2019-12-12 11:51 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2019-12-12 12:34 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2019-12-13 09:56 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2019-12-13 10:08 pm (UTC)From: