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hey dw.
i guess i'm moving the day I update to thursday since i train wednesday.
So, I've been to wrestling school 3 times now, and man I am still really pumped about it. I've learned a lot about falling and taking bumps, a couple of holds and submissions, and i have a p mean forearm and uppercut. I feel really good about it. It takes up a lot of my time, but I'm really enjoying it. I still can hardly remember anyone's name. That is frustrating. But I'll get there. Yesterday we were working on falling and now my arms and forearms are basically a line of bruises. It seems I only like sports that give me bruises. I've been sore, but not so sore that I feel, like, extra bad.
And, yeah, at least for now I'm still doing silks. I feel like maybe at some point I'll have to choose, especially if I feel wrestling is a viable path for me. Aerials really aren't. Like, I fucking love silks, but I just don't have a lot of grace. Thankfully, I can move like a barbarian in a ring and it'll still be okay. But who knows, I might feel that way with wrestling eventually too? Idk. I'll probably read this in the future and I'll get to laugh one way or another.
Okay so Friday was my first day wrestling. Then Saturday I went to silks and then went to Gideon and Sarah's xmas party. It was a lot of fun. Oh, I think I had cocktails with them on Thursday too. Gideon wanted to donate Z some homebrew stuff, but since he has access to the 10 gal pilot system at the brewery, as well as a kegging system, we have no real need. But it was sweet of him to think of us. Saturday was good though. We got chinese bbq, had cocktails, and watched miami connection. Miami Connection is an amazing "shitty movie" if you're into that kind of thing. It has everything: ninjas, drug trafficking, tae kwan do, and a rock band!
oh and we got an amazing present: scooby doo meets WWE. idk it looks terrible. i cant wait to watch it.
Sunday we watched football and then went to see Todd. I think I mentioned before he has cancer. They think they caught it early enough, and its in an early stage. So hopefully that'll go okay. I don't know. I feel terrible about it. We exchanged christmas presents. I really do hope everything goes well for him. They're going to see if they can just cut it out which would be preferred. Cuz chemo and radiation fucking suck.
Monday we had a new years eve party. I hadn't been invited to any house party and I didn't want to do nothing, so I made one myself. It was a really good time tbh! Like it was a little small, but we got through a lot of bottles and i got loud and stupid and drunk but it was still fun. i am in a video on ig screaming that punk with an upbeat isn't ska, whilst skanking. that might be peak me. I'm trying to give myself more grace when I beat up on myself for being loud/silly when drinking. Like I'm having fun, and I'm not saying something heinous. just, like, afterwards i feel like everyone hates me, everyone is annoyed by me, etc etc. But that's clearly not true. Or they wouldn't come to my party!
New years we were hung over and just watched stuff. And like, everyone else, looking back at last year. I succeeded in most of my resolutions. But I did resolve to make more art and I did not do that. I STILL have my sketch book on the desk waiting for me to finish the mini comic I started.
But you wanna know what: I'm tired of trying to force myself to be A Creative (tm). I do what I want, when I want to. Art nor music were ever going to be viable paths for me, mostly because of my anti-capitalist tendencies. But when I make things, when I want to, I enjoy it. And that's all that matters. And that's all that ever will matter.
It took me a long time to accept that I'm never going to change the world. I'm not going to do some huge grandiose thing. But I will just strive for my own joy, and make small changes around me as I can. I shifted into leaning into taoism more when it comes to that sort of thing, and I'd say it was ultimately good for my mental health and nihilism.
At any rate, 2019 I don't have any resolutions. I mean I had a few, but it sounded more like a to-do list. So I'm just not. New year, same me.
Which about catches us up. There was no silks on Tuesday. Wednesday I went back to wrestling, which I sort of recapped above.
happy 2019 all y'all!
i guess i'm moving the day I update to thursday since i train wednesday.
So, I've been to wrestling school 3 times now, and man I am still really pumped about it. I've learned a lot about falling and taking bumps, a couple of holds and submissions, and i have a p mean forearm and uppercut. I feel really good about it. It takes up a lot of my time, but I'm really enjoying it. I still can hardly remember anyone's name. That is frustrating. But I'll get there. Yesterday we were working on falling and now my arms and forearms are basically a line of bruises. It seems I only like sports that give me bruises. I've been sore, but not so sore that I feel, like, extra bad.
And, yeah, at least for now I'm still doing silks. I feel like maybe at some point I'll have to choose, especially if I feel wrestling is a viable path for me. Aerials really aren't. Like, I fucking love silks, but I just don't have a lot of grace. Thankfully, I can move like a barbarian in a ring and it'll still be okay. But who knows, I might feel that way with wrestling eventually too? Idk. I'll probably read this in the future and I'll get to laugh one way or another.
Okay so Friday was my first day wrestling. Then Saturday I went to silks and then went to Gideon and Sarah's xmas party. It was a lot of fun. Oh, I think I had cocktails with them on Thursday too. Gideon wanted to donate Z some homebrew stuff, but since he has access to the 10 gal pilot system at the brewery, as well as a kegging system, we have no real need. But it was sweet of him to think of us. Saturday was good though. We got chinese bbq, had cocktails, and watched miami connection. Miami Connection is an amazing "shitty movie" if you're into that kind of thing. It has everything: ninjas, drug trafficking, tae kwan do, and a rock band!
oh and we got an amazing present: scooby doo meets WWE. idk it looks terrible. i cant wait to watch it.
Sunday we watched football and then went to see Todd. I think I mentioned before he has cancer. They think they caught it early enough, and its in an early stage. So hopefully that'll go okay. I don't know. I feel terrible about it. We exchanged christmas presents. I really do hope everything goes well for him. They're going to see if they can just cut it out which would be preferred. Cuz chemo and radiation fucking suck.
Monday we had a new years eve party. I hadn't been invited to any house party and I didn't want to do nothing, so I made one myself. It was a really good time tbh! Like it was a little small, but we got through a lot of bottles and i got loud and stupid and drunk but it was still fun. i am in a video on ig screaming that punk with an upbeat isn't ska, whilst skanking. that might be peak me. I'm trying to give myself more grace when I beat up on myself for being loud/silly when drinking. Like I'm having fun, and I'm not saying something heinous. just, like, afterwards i feel like everyone hates me, everyone is annoyed by me, etc etc. But that's clearly not true. Or they wouldn't come to my party!
New years we were hung over and just watched stuff. And like, everyone else, looking back at last year. I succeeded in most of my resolutions. But I did resolve to make more art and I did not do that. I STILL have my sketch book on the desk waiting for me to finish the mini comic I started.
But you wanna know what: I'm tired of trying to force myself to be A Creative (tm). I do what I want, when I want to. Art nor music were ever going to be viable paths for me, mostly because of my anti-capitalist tendencies. But when I make things, when I want to, I enjoy it. And that's all that matters. And that's all that ever will matter.
It took me a long time to accept that I'm never going to change the world. I'm not going to do some huge grandiose thing. But I will just strive for my own joy, and make small changes around me as I can. I shifted into leaning into taoism more when it comes to that sort of thing, and I'd say it was ultimately good for my mental health and nihilism.
At any rate, 2019 I don't have any resolutions. I mean I had a few, but it sounded more like a to-do list. So I'm just not. New year, same me.
Which about catches us up. There was no silks on Tuesday. Wednesday I went back to wrestling, which I sort of recapped above.
happy 2019 all y'all!
