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Feb. 9th, 2020 06:51 pmcw: death
spoilers: someone is dead.
I started to crawl out of the depression yesterday or so. Yesterday I felt joy and stuff and it was light maybe im coming on out, but wow I have been just hyper emotional and mega moody lately.
Ill just catch up so i can get into the meat. Friday I hung out with Gideon and Sarah and even though I didnt wanna do it, i had a good time and I was glad I went although I probably should probably be less candid about my depression depending on the people.
Saturday I drove out to see Kris for her brthday. I didnt really know what to expect. it was on some land in the middle of the middle of nowhere which was almost impressive how it felt completely removed from civilization. it was a good time. the folks out there were all really cool. and stuff with kris' partner rob seems fine ( long story, but stuff was complicated between us at one point)
Oh and I saw sabrina and we finally got to exchange presents.
anyway
uh
yeah
i saw a facebook, well, ok first it was an instagram post, from my pal sarah saying a dear friend of mine since i was fucking 14 died. I didn't believe it. then i went to facebook where i saw nothing from no one else but sarah, but sarah had heard it from tony who heard it from steve and it seems like all of lara's partner's family is grieving her.
so its probably true.
she was young. had a fucked up leg. sometimes did drugs. sounds like they found her in her bedroom. it could have been suicide but my guess is accidental OD. this is just me speculating.
i was just screaming. i love lara. she and her family, are like an integral part of who i am. but no one told me i found out from instagram and no one knows or cares i exist. and i kept telling her "oh ill come this winter." "oh skittles is sick" "oh skittles is dead" and i just never came home. and now i get to probably go home for a funeral and she is dead so that sucks.
It is pretty cheap to fly to chicago so whatever. its funny before I was like homesick the last few months. so a finger on the monkeys paw curls as I get to go home but its for a fucking funeral. i might stay up there a few weeks and see everyone and get my head straight. maybe week up north, week in chicago. something like that.
its taken entirely too long to write this so whatever.
spoilers: someone is dead.
I started to crawl out of the depression yesterday or so. Yesterday I felt joy and stuff and it was light maybe im coming on out, but wow I have been just hyper emotional and mega moody lately.
Ill just catch up so i can get into the meat. Friday I hung out with Gideon and Sarah and even though I didnt wanna do it, i had a good time and I was glad I went although I probably should probably be less candid about my depression depending on the people.
Saturday I drove out to see Kris for her brthday. I didnt really know what to expect. it was on some land in the middle of the middle of nowhere which was almost impressive how it felt completely removed from civilization. it was a good time. the folks out there were all really cool. and stuff with kris' partner rob seems fine ( long story, but stuff was complicated between us at one point)
Oh and I saw sabrina and we finally got to exchange presents.
anyway
uh
yeah
i saw a facebook, well, ok first it was an instagram post, from my pal sarah saying a dear friend of mine since i was fucking 14 died. I didn't believe it. then i went to facebook where i saw nothing from no one else but sarah, but sarah had heard it from tony who heard it from steve and it seems like all of lara's partner's family is grieving her.
so its probably true.
she was young. had a fucked up leg. sometimes did drugs. sounds like they found her in her bedroom. it could have been suicide but my guess is accidental OD. this is just me speculating.
i was just screaming. i love lara. she and her family, are like an integral part of who i am. but no one told me i found out from instagram and no one knows or cares i exist. and i kept telling her "oh ill come this winter." "oh skittles is sick" "oh skittles is dead" and i just never came home. and now i get to probably go home for a funeral and she is dead so that sucks.
It is pretty cheap to fly to chicago so whatever. its funny before I was like homesick the last few months. so a finger on the monkeys paw curls as I get to go home but its for a fucking funeral. i might stay up there a few weeks and see everyone and get my head straight. maybe week up north, week in chicago. something like that.
its taken entirely too long to write this so whatever.
