(no subject)

[frenzy]

Hi. My depression has been very, very bad. I couldn't tell you why. It might actually be anxiety. I guess it probably is both. I keep beating myself up over tiny things, assuming everyone hates me, hating myself... I'm just having a really rough time. I cant seem to escape my brain; its louder than usual.

And, like, trump lost so I should be happy.

Social media has been exceptionally grating lately. I used to be a christian, and I've only kept friends that aren't complete right-wing shitlords. Anyway, it seems like any vaguely left-leaning christian being happy that trump lost has brought the absolute worst people out of the woodwork in the comments. (most) Christians are so delusional at this point. The only real christian arguments i could find was 1) abortion and 2) claiming biden is satan or the anti-christ somehow.

Y'all, I have never been more fucking proud to be an atheist. I hate christians and what it has become. Jesus seemed to be a relatively okay guy, although i dont believe in his divinity. These chodes haven't read a single thing jesus ever said.

I just keep seeing this rhetoric, specifically on facebook, and I keep clicking on it, even though I know what I'm going to see. Maybe a part of me is disappointed in what modern christianity has become. Religion doesn't have to be this way. But it is. Whatever. I guess I'm mostly just happy to not even have to worry about the conflict. It makes me want to come fully out as an atheist because i've never been gladder to not believe in god.

Slightly deviating from my original point here, but I have a bit of a conspiracy theory i've conjured up and I'm pretty convinced its true. Republicans dont actually care about abortion. They've had the majority, and they never do anything about it. If they did, they would lose a huge voting base, since a lot of christian folks are single issue abortion voters. what do y'all think? They just keep dangling the carrot but never actually giving it to them.


No good segue to go from that to my last thought. But man, I am fuckin bummed about Alex Trebek. My dad died when I was 15. But some of the sparse, good memories I have are of my dad and quiz shows. My dad knew damn never every answer on jeopardy. He'd pass their tests, but he'd never make the final cut. So, when I'm sad or missing him, I'd have jeopardy to watch and enjoy and think of my dad. So in a weird way, Trebek became bootleg quiz show dad. And now he's dead too. I knew his health was poor, and I knew he was older and no one lives forever. But its like, one of a handful of 'celebrity deaths' that have stung. Parasocial relationships are strange. I'll miss quiz dad.

Comments

[katiedid717]

My dad loved Jeopardy and would store up episodes on the DVR to watch whenever the "kids" were visiting. He knew most of the answers also

[frenzy]

If I remember correctly my dad would tape jeopardy so I could watch sailor moon when I came home from school. That or jeopardy was on aftwards. This was an eternity ago.

[katiedid717]

My dad had over a year's worth of Jeopardy stored on the DVR at any particular moment and would occasionally delete other shows that that he could keep his favorite Jeopardy episodes - last December we watched a teen's tournament from 2016 or 2017 that he still had saved XD Dads, man...nobody else like them out there

[frenzy]

idk if this is still the case, but Netflix used to have old episodes of jeopardy on it. One for every year going back to 83. It was awesome to watch and see 1) the "double jeopardy" graphic change each year and 2) find out which year brought peak nostalgia. I think it was 94~96. somewhere in there.

[katiedid717]

I'll have to check Netflix! I know Hulu has some episodes available too.

Also funny story but Alex Trebek was my first crush - when I was like 2.5/3 years old I would go RUNNING into the room if I heard him on TV and start kissing the screen XD

[minoanmiss]

Fellow former Christian surfing by to offer a hug from a small soft woman. I totally hear you.

[frenzy]

awe thanks <3

[sabotabby]

Most Republicans know they can buy their mistress an abortion even if it becomes illegal. And they do.

I know about as many kind Christians as I know kind atheists. But I don't know many evangelicals, which is probably the big difference.

[frenzy]

I feel like most of the left christians i still knew are less and less as they all leave the church/faith, myself included. the ones that seem to stick are the evangelicals, and they keep the worst company it would seem.

i know i sound kind of like a jerk. i am probably still going through my 'angry atheist' phase.

[sabotabby]

Hah. I used to go on Christian forums to argue about abortion and how their theology made no sense, so I get it. I guess I just have a different relationship with religion—I wasn't raised religious other than having to fake it around my grandparents, which I didn't do successfully as I am a loudmouth. And Judaism is a minority religion here, so I got all the Christian shit imposed on me but I didn't participate. But aggressive, racist secularism is also a thing here, especially in Quebec, and I hate that just as much.

[frenzy]

I think racist secular folks are the norm, and probably the louder people at this point. but a lot of people (including myself) are probably in denial about this, since its easier to blame far-right christians.